is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize