my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
"it" just moved
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
