i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
