in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
