oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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