so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
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I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
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