69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she peed on how many people?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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