Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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