Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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