I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
