There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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