I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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