no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Randomize
