fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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