Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize