Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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