oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
