Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
