How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
