Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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