he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize