we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize