Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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