I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
