A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Holy shit dude........stairs
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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