Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
