everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
