i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
