I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so let's talk penis.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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