I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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