people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
