oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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