I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
