some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize