Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
