Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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