i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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