I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
