I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We had to coat check the pizza.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
