you guys were way drunker than both of me
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
