gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
