I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
