You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize