do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
