Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i think i have two assholes
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize