she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You need Xanax blowdarts
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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