Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
