I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This baby is an asshole
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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