her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
