apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
