a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
