it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize