It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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