You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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