remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize