i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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