WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
