Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
