I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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