Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
