a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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