Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
