I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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