1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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