giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
