Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
