See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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