He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
